Imagine you’re driving north from a weekend in the desert. You’re tired, you’re sticky, your hair is so brittle it could singlehandedly replace all the steel wool of a small country. You’ve got two friends with you in the car.

All is going swimmingly, until suddenly your car beeps – an orange light turns on – a red light turns on! – and the following message flashes before your eyes:

If you’re a prudent driver like me, this will freak you out. And you will probably stop the car at the nearest gas station, call your dad whose car you borrowed, and he will tell you the little light has something to do with the brakes and you should call road service right now.

You will do this, road service dispatcher will tell you your car needs to be towed to a garage and they are sending someone.

You will wait at the gas station for 2 hours eating questionable packaged convenience store salad and playing Game of Phones with the 2 friends (which was actually pretty fun).

Then your dad will arrive in another car, at the same time the tow truck does, and then the tow truck driver will take a look and tell you the following:

This message means it’s time for the car to go for it’s scheduled maintenance service. The brakes are fine, you can drive the car. It’s just how they let you know it’s time for a checkup.


Because clearly, if you want to tell a driver it’s time for a routine maintenance round on the car, you should tell them there’s something wrong with the engine. WHILE THEY’RE DRIVING.

Why? because